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16 november a few more dayshellish life.... 20-page paper, 10-page final, 6-page final... 5 more days.... Almost going to collaspe, but Jason sent me a postcard from Vietnam and Brian wrote on my wall yesterday, seeing how the Carleton's #1 mahjiang queen is doing during finals... feeling so warm right now... Thank you guys for remembering me and thinking of me.... Gave a fantastic presentation yesterday about Gender Inequality and Structure Adjustment Policies The prof was pretty impressed by how much research Ive done and how much efforts Ive put in.. Dude..then give me a fucking A... Although ive been complaining about this stupid methods class for so long, it turns out that I am doing relatively well in class I can at least get a B+ for sure..maybe an A-.. not sure about A...never knew his grading scale, plus i fucked up my research proposal Still working on Ristow's 20-page final paper... Stupid me attempted to extend the page from 15 pages to 20 pages... AAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhh..... Well..it could be my comps paper in my senior year since i may do some research about US bullshit refugee policy A few more hours to go before handing it in.. Feelinig so guilty now since i've been constantly asking for the extention of this paper.. I hope Ristow won't take off too many of my points for handing in late Going to spend at least 3 days for Bill's 6-page French history paper Carleton has clearly turned me into a feminist...since all i've been doing this term is about gender relations and gender roles, either in ancient and medieval Europe or comtemporary world And i am seriously thinking of going to work in a NGO in China to help promote gender equality Mom wants me to go to law school immediately after Carleton Not so sure if I can, or I want to, handle law school at the age of 22, while everybody else has a few years of working experiences.. Plus law school is super expensive.. I think i really need to talk to Kim Smith sometime later about law school, since she is the pre-law advisor here at Carleton FUTURE FUTURE FUTURE FUTURE... Where is my future.... Alright, back to paper now... I am damn tired now but a few more hours to go to write this goddamn paper... 11 november ｓｎｏｗ ｓｎｏｗ ｓｎｏｗ ｓｎｏｗIt was snowing heavily as fuck ｏｎ Thursday and Friday... 倒计时。。。。10天。。。。 04 november It's All About Harvard....星期四晚上熬夜写完了3篇论文，把所有要交的论文都交了。。。 23个小时的连续工作 我果真佩服我自己的毅力和意志力 星期五和世伦同学酌了点小酒（其实干完了一整瓶的红葡萄酒），然后11点就睡觉了 估计我前世是睡神，今天起来便是下午4点半。。。 整整昏睡了17个半小时。。。。。。 今天晚上大概是睡不着了，把寝室里的水果全搬来了电脑房，跟世伦开玩笑说我今天在电脑房野营 一直想过要放弃，过轻松的日子，而不是每天挑战生命的极限，做不可能的任务 每天这样的想法都在头脑中闪过 不知道是该可喜还是可惜，我还是没有动摇过，还是过着晚上4点睡觉早上9点起来工作15个小时一天的日子 从来不知道自己这样坚持到最后得到的会是什么 不敢去想，因为怕现实会打败自己的意志力 于是天天勉励自己 It's all about Harvard.... All About Harvard!!!! Hang in there.... 3 more papers, 1 more final and 1 more final project...then I will be done with fall term junior year 这个学期我已经成为了派队的绝缘体。。。 Too old for all this shit.... 马上就21岁了，是该为自己的将来打算了 整天喝酒派队能带给我什么呢？ 世伦同学果然是神，说的话一针见血：party friends won't last forever...they won't come help you if you are in troubles...It's all about your own life..Life will fuck you up later if you fuck up life right now... 于是在想，下个学期他回来，我辛苦建立好的平静又会被打乱。。。 第一次有了对他的抵触情绪 我果然不够爱他 或者，我从来没有爱过他 所有的情愫只是因为我害怕孤独，仅此而已 Shame on me..... Geoffroi de Charny says to his knights: Love Loyally if you want to be loved..... Too bad I don't have such thing called loyalty in my blood... Maybe I don't deserve to be loved... Okay back to work... Just realized Carleton only teaches us two things: 1) How to bulllshit 2) How to deal with impossibilities in life crucial and necessary skills.... oh Carleton...... |
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